Thursday, August 30, 2007

Worthy of my icy ire

I hate you Mr. Stephen Colbert! Oh, do I hate, detest and loathe you, sir!

For many moons I have been a trusty and true viewing companion – faithfully watching as you shed your magnificent light on the worlds great challenges.

At first I was wooed by your classic handsomeness and fierce conservative politics but over time it was your demure charm and quiet self-confidence that drew me in night after night.

So naturally when I noticed “Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream” ice cream the container made its way into my shopping cart. Never mind that Ben & Jerry are granola socialists. After all, if you, Stephen Colbert, can let them print your name and likeness on their product I can certainly give it a little taste.

I have read the list of ingredients thoroughly but surely one vital component of this recipe has been omitted – heroin.

Since my first little spoonful I’ve not been able to shake the desire for more. In fact, my loving wife had to physically wrest the container away from me and forcibly remove the spoon from my frozen and drooling mouth.

Do you seek to destroy me with your icy-sweet caramel kryptonite? I am weakened and brought to my knees by your Americone Dream.

Alas, it is my nightmare.

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
-Mae West

Sunday, August 26, 2007

SBR Sprint Tri

4:45AM and the alarm clock began to beckon. It was time to wake up, pack up, and head out for the 4th race of the SBR Triathlon Series (you may recall I ran race #1).

The frequency and intensity of my workouts has not been... uhh, er, well, let's just say that my training has been less frequent and less intense.

The swim went about as well as I could have hoped for. I set off in the middle of the pack and quickly moved over so that I was swimming a direct line out - just along the line of buoys. It got crowded a few times and I was kicked lightly but what else is new.

Heading back to beach I lost my line and veered off slightly. I corrected and ended up swimming shoulder to shoulder with another guy all the way to the beach.

My official time for the half mile swim was 15:16, a pace of 1:44/100 meters.

My T1 transition time was a bit slow at 3 and a half minutes. No real reason... I moved efficiently through the change - I just wasn't fast.

About 3 miles into the race I was just spinning along on a flat section of the course. I looked down and was only going 15 MPH.

"WTF, Josh! This is a race! Quit with the lolly gagging ya' effin' Nancy!"

Finally I engaged with the race and began working the bike. I dropped a couple of riders as the course made it's way into a long, twisting section of rolling hills. After 2+ miles of hairpin turns around blind corners the race makes a tight 180 degree turn on this time the turn goes up a hill. A 1.5 mile hill. And it is ALL UP HILL! Augh!

I passed a couple of guys going up the hill but my lack of proper training was catching up. I didn't have much juice left for the few miles back to transition. With about 3 miles to go the guys I passed on the uphill retook their positions ahead of me.

I cursed to myself and debated the merits of pushing too hard up a hill. I was awaken from my inner dialogue by the lead woman positively blasting by me! Geez, nothing left but a vapor trail, my deflated ego and my dropped jaw.

I rolled into T2 in 52:57 averaging 18MPH over the 16 mile course.

I ran out of T2 in under a minute and was on the 4 mile trail run when I was hit with stomach cramping again! I had to stop to stretch out my abs while holding back the urge to show my guts to the rest of the field... literally.

I finished the 4 mile trail run in 32:22 a pace of 8:06 per mile. I'm a little disappointed with this showing because I've run the same course at a 7:01 pace. Alas, my innards were out of it.

All in all I finished the triathlon in 1:44:53 which was good enough for 35th place and 4th in my age group. Full results are here.

I raced pretty well, finished with a strong kick and most important, I enjoyed every minute of it (even the near barf was good fun). So I can't be too unhappy with what is likely my last multi-sport race of the season.

Now I'll be focused on my next "A" race. Does anyone know a good 6-week training plan for fatherhood?

"Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance."

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Back From Idaho

Idaho - or at least the Sun Valley area - is a remarkably picturesque corner of the world. The landscape is rugged, raw and varied. Plateaus give way to prairies. Mountains rise up from the flats and fall into quaint valley towns.

Idaho is also on fire at present. Huge tendrils of smoke from numerous wildfires can be seen for miles. In fact, one morning my run was made rather difficult due to the omnipresent haze of smoke. The 5,300 feet of elevation did not help this sea level dweller much either.

Special thanks to 13akbal for finding the Wood River Trail for me. As it turns out it went right behind our hotel!

"Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up."
-Ernest Hemingway

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


I find myself on the verge of a trip to Sun Valley, Idaho. Packing my bag I realized...

"Where am I going to run?!?!?!?"

Egads, man! I don't know any good trails or routes in Idaho.

I looked for local running clubs online figuring they'd have some suggestions and found none.

Zip. Nada. Ziltch.

So, know any good running routes or trails?

"A traveller without knowledge is like a bird without wings."

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

She's Awesome

My wife has a remarkable knack for giving the most incredible birthday presents a crazy fool like me could ever want.

And she’s done it again!

Many of you will recall my jumping out of an airplane last year. If you’ve not seen the video of me plummeting to the earth, I must say, it is absolutely worth a viewing.

If you have seen it… well, have another look! Can you spot the moment where my bravado disappears and my face turns a ghostly pale? (hint: it’s about 2:10 into the video).

This year I’ll be flying through the air once again! Only this time a little nearer the ground and with a safety net too... I know what you're thinking but I’ve got a baby on the way to think about.

For my 30th birthday Salena gave me Flying Trapeze lessons! How freaking cool is that!?!?!?!

Also, I’ll need an appropriate Flying Trapeze moniker and am open to all suggestions…

"He'd fly through the air with the greatest of ease,
That daring young man on the flying trapeze."
-George Leybourne