Thursday, August 30, 2007

Worthy of my icy ire

I hate you Mr. Stephen Colbert! Oh, do I hate, detest and loathe you, sir!

For many moons I have been a trusty and true viewing companion – faithfully watching as you shed your magnificent light on the worlds great challenges.

At first I was wooed by your classic handsomeness and fierce conservative politics but over time it was your demure charm and quiet self-confidence that drew me in night after night.

So naturally when I noticed “Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream” ice cream the container made its way into my shopping cart. Never mind that Ben & Jerry are granola socialists. After all, if you, Stephen Colbert, can let them print your name and likeness on their product I can certainly give it a little taste.

I have read the list of ingredients thoroughly but surely one vital component of this recipe has been omitted – heroin.

Since my first little spoonful I’ve not been able to shake the desire for more. In fact, my loving wife had to physically wrest the container away from me and forcibly remove the spoon from my frozen and drooling mouth.

Do you seek to destroy me with your icy-sweet caramel kryptonite? I am weakened and brought to my knees by your Americone Dream.

Alas, it is my nightmare.

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
-Mae West

10 comments:

DebbieJRT said...

I have yet to try this much ballyhooed ice cream. I am afraid - what if I can't stop and end up a couch lump again?!?

stephruns said...

I just hope they won't come out with a Brittney Spears version! Oh no, who would want to eat that flavor!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Faithful Soles said...

ok, while we are confessing, I have had more than my fair share of B&J over the years. My favorite is probably New York Super Fudge Chunk. Haagen Dazs also makes a phenomenal waffle cone flavor, and they also make a chocolate peanut butter flavor that is the second best thing I've ever had. To me, the funniest thing printed on these pint-sized containers is "Number of Servings: 4". If you have the discipline to eat one of these over 4 servings, then you are a monk living in a temple and you also know the meaning of life. I personally blow through the entire pint every time in one sitting.

As for your question on my blog about the biking, I have not started that phase yet. I won't be doing my first Ironman until late 2008 or early 2009 because I own my own business and work is very busy, so all I have time for at the moment are the swimming and running parts. I figure that since I'm already doing the 2.4 mile swim and have a lot of marathons under my belt, I should be able to work the cycling in sometime starting in September or October.

miss petite america said...

HA!!!! i didn't know men could be slaves tot he ice cream!! to be honest though i'm not so much a fan of ben and jerry's they put too many ingredients. i like mine plain and simple: green tea, mint, strawberry.

but well, ice cream CAN be good for you! at least you're not addicted to REAL heroin!

the_ubster said...

Mmmm, my favorite is Starbucks Java Chip. I have the craziest, most vivid dreams every time I indulge.

nyflygirl said...

Evil!!

I'm trying to keep the ice cream addiction confined to Edy's Slow Churned Mint Chocolate Chip. (And only after long runs/races.)

Though I do miss my Starbucks White Chocolate Latte (since discontinued)...that combined 3 guilty pleasures in one.

Sempre Libera said...

Haha, too funny :-)

I'm not a fan of B&J either, though I have been known to eat a good portion of an Edy's carton in one sitting...

E-Speed said...

this post was awesome. Hope you are able to break the habit ;)

Chelly said...

I'm a Karmel Sutra fan usually but tried American Dream one day --- finished it the next!

Ginger Breadman said...

Most excellent - a new ice-cream flavor to try! Everyone is allowed their vices in life - enjoy the dessert. It's been said, "Eat dessert first!"